Season Preview
America's third most important national holiday, fantasy football draft day, has come and gone, reminding us all that life moves fast, and so did the amount of money some of us had left in our auction budget at 1:40.* Before we go any further, remember, the following categories are based mostly on how well I think your team will perform and very little on how much I like you as a person. Here we go!
The Champ
The Drive by Tuckers
Prime Time
Mentally Tired is probably, well, mentally tired. As of this writing, the TV is on*****, and news has just come down about Antonio Brown being suspended and likely cut. This is of course a huge blow because NO ONE saw this coming. This wasn't a bad plan, because if it worked Mentally Tired is set up nicely with two potential top WR's and a top TE. Shooters Shoot, and Mentally Tired is a Shooter. Now it's time to get to work, rebound, and see if Terrell Owens is available.
Southern Comfort is an example of a team that might take a week or two to figure out. Watson is great (assuming health), Devante Adams is really consistantly good and Sammy Watkins could see a very nice Mahomes boost. Where things get interesting is with what happens with Shady. McCoy has a chance to take over as the Chiefs top RB, which could lead to Loser leaves town type matchup in Week 10 to see who really is "Chiefs AF".
Grown Man's Poop was a finals participant last year, and is a multiple time champ in this league. Sometimes this owner is many steps ahead of the rest of the league, and no one realizes he has outmaneuvered everyone else until he has drafted a rookie named Leveon Bell for $2. Hopkins is great, and it's possible that Allen is just as good as he was over the last month of last year, AND mayyyyybbbee Gurley is healthy again. As a wise man once said, "Sometimes you don't know until you find out".
Burning Sensations, I like to be positive when writing about people's fantasy teams. So here is a list of the top 5 things I like about you this season:
1. You came to The Draft wearing an Andrew Luck jersey 12 hours after he retired.
2. I do think your 3 top RB's are sneaky good.
3. You have more Lions on your team than Show Me your TD's, which will be fun if you should beat him with those guys.
4. If Darius Guice takes over as the top RB in Washington, you could REALLY be on to something.
5. you have the best team logo in the league.
That's all everyone, Terrible luck to all of you this season.
*I spent my off-season working on lengthening my run on sentences.
Drink it in. Drive by Tuckers occupy this spot until they are removed from it by force. Speaking of being removed by force. . .
The Contenders
Prime Time
Bobby Bruton
Noodle Soup
Chiefs AF
Based on advanced metrics**, the last team standing at the end of the playoffs will likely come from this group, headlined by the only three time champ in league history, Chiefs AF. AF has a top five player at QB, RB and WR, but things likely get serious if Melvin Gordon gets on the field. Two elite backs is a luxury most teams don't have, and would help make up for the step back Mahomes will likely take, even if he does stay the top scoring QB.
One of these years will be the one for Bob Bruton. The most successful franchise to never win the title, along with being in the discussion for "most consistantly good team", finished third last season. Bob came into the draft with the best set of keepers in the league and followed it up with a good draft. Michael Thomas will challenge the top WR spot to go along with two RB's that should be top 10 at their position. A solid rest of the roster, including Mecole 'guy with a made up name' Hardman***, likely insures that this team will be in the hunt for a coveted first round bye.
It's not often that a team that finishes dead last in every available set of rankings or standing one season can be looked at as a contender the following season, but here we are Noodle Soup. Soup has a young group of RB's, and if Cook makes the leap there is potential to have a top player at WR, RB and TE. There is nice depth throughout the roster also, so if Cook doesn't pop, or if there is an injury Soup probably won't have to scramble too much to fill out a team.
The season starts early for Soup as they go against Prime Time in the best opening match of the week.
The season starts early for Soup as they go against Prime Time in the best opening match of the week.
For someone that knew that we did an auction draft for around 10 minutes before he dove in, Prime Time acclimated himself very nicely. Yes, Saquan was expensive, but guess what? Saquan is expensive, and no on will care how much he cost when he is the number one RB in the league. Kittle might have been the best keeper of the draft, seeing as he is easily the #2 TE with a very distinct upper class in that position. If Thielen is the same top end WR that he was during the first half last year, this is a very good team that should be in contention the whole way.
Show Me your TD's
There is no shame in being a part of this group. As the sports world knows, The most competitive portion of our league**** Is the four week or so part of the schedule where about five teams are battling for the last one or two spots in the playoffs. This group is usually unbeilievabley close, with usually no more than one or two teams having no shot.
Show me your TD's is trying to move up in the world. The biggest name here is Ju-Ju, but this is a team built around balance and depth. Chubb and Freeman are fringe top 10 at their position, and Michel is a solid RB 2 at the flex spot. I don't care for Goff very much, but at least he didn't pin his hopes on Stafford again. TD's will look to make a statement in Week 1 against Contender Bob Bruton and put the league on notice.
FDFT looks like he has his bet shot at the post-season since entering the league. This is another deep team, probably a little light on the studs, but lots of good players, which should keep him from falling apart late in the season like in years past. If Josh Gordon pulls a 2007 Randy Moss, this team becomes a lot more dangerous.
Ah, Sack Lunch, if only the season ended in October, you would be polishing the belt right now, and celebrating a historically good season from last year. The pre-season favorite, on pace to set a record for most points scored in a season, and destroying everything in your path, with Todd Gurley leading the way, Terminator style. We all know how that ended, Gurley wore down, Sack faded down the stretch, and here we are in 2019, with the keys and Sack's playoff hopes having been handed to this guy
The Field
Show Me your TD's
Fort Dix Fuzzy Tacos
Sack Lunch
Mentally Tired
Southern Comfort
Grown Man's Poop
Burning Sensations
There is no shame in being a part of this group. As the sports world knows, The most competitive portion of our league**** Is the four week or so part of the schedule where about five teams are battling for the last one or two spots in the playoffs. This group is usually unbeilievabley close, with usually no more than one or two teams having no shot.Show me your TD's is trying to move up in the world. The biggest name here is Ju-Ju, but this is a team built around balance and depth. Chubb and Freeman are fringe top 10 at their position, and Michel is a solid RB 2 at the flex spot. I don't care for Goff very much, but at least he didn't pin his hopes on Stafford again. TD's will look to make a statement in Week 1 against Contender Bob Bruton and put the league on notice.
FDFT looks like he has his bet shot at the post-season since entering the league. This is another deep team, probably a little light on the studs, but lots of good players, which should keep him from falling apart late in the season like in years past. If Josh Gordon pulls a 2007 Randy Moss, this team becomes a lot more dangerous.
Ah, Sack Lunch, if only the season ended in October, you would be polishing the belt right now, and celebrating a historically good season from last year. The pre-season favorite, on pace to set a record for most points scored in a season, and destroying everything in your path, with Todd Gurley leading the way, Terminator style. We all know how that ended, Gurley wore down, Sack faded down the stretch, and here we are in 2019, with the keys and Sack's playoff hopes having been handed to this guy
Mentally Tired is probably, well, mentally tired. As of this writing, the TV is on*****, and news has just come down about Antonio Brown being suspended and likely cut. This is of course a huge blow because NO ONE saw this coming. This wasn't a bad plan, because if it worked Mentally Tired is set up nicely with two potential top WR's and a top TE. Shooters Shoot, and Mentally Tired is a Shooter. Now it's time to get to work, rebound, and see if Terrell Owens is available.
Southern Comfort is an example of a team that might take a week or two to figure out. Watson is great (assuming health), Devante Adams is really consistantly good and Sammy Watkins could see a very nice Mahomes boost. Where things get interesting is with what happens with Shady. McCoy has a chance to take over as the Chiefs top RB, which could lead to Loser leaves town type matchup in Week 10 to see who really is "Chiefs AF".
Grown Man's Poop was a finals participant last year, and is a multiple time champ in this league. Sometimes this owner is many steps ahead of the rest of the league, and no one realizes he has outmaneuvered everyone else until he has drafted a rookie named Leveon Bell for $2. Hopkins is great, and it's possible that Allen is just as good as he was over the last month of last year, AND mayyyyybbbee Gurley is healthy again. As a wise man once said, "Sometimes you don't know until you find out".
Burning Sensations, I like to be positive when writing about people's fantasy teams. So here is a list of the top 5 things I like about you this season:
1. You came to The Draft wearing an Andrew Luck jersey 12 hours after he retired.
2. I do think your 3 top RB's are sneaky good.
3. You have more Lions on your team than Show Me your TD's, which will be fun if you should beat him with those guys.
4. If Darius Guice takes over as the top RB in Washington, you could REALLY be on to something.
5. you have the best team logo in the league.
That's all everyone, Terrible luck to all of you this season.
*I spent my off-season working on lengthening my run on sentences.
**The projected points scored for out teams on the Yahoo page. I feel like it was a pretty complicated process.
***Sorry James, this was an inside joke for people that were at the draft
****The most elite fantasy football league in the world
*****I'm watching Friends. Friends is on.
****The most elite fantasy football league in the world
*****I'm watching Friends. Friends is on.
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